I realize I haven't posted for 2 1/2 weeks. I haven't written any email or read my lj friends list (except occasionally) for that long either. It's actually felt liberating. But I will write a little about what I have been up to..
I've made some wedding preparations. Much has been taken care of, but there's still a lot to do. Almost everything from the cake to the music will be provided by friends of ours and with some bartering, which makes me very happy. I love supporting the local community, especially my friends.
The wedding itself will be in Chetzemoka Park here in Port Townsend with a gazebo and water view. I've always wanted to be married outside since my dad and step-mom were married in our apple and pear orchard on Sinclair Island. I have a stronger tie to nature than I do to religion, so the concept of a church wedding has always seemed too constricted and stifling for me. The reception will be at the Palindrome, a dance hall owned by a sweet married couple. Originally the reception was going to be at the Manresa Castle, but I discovered that they don't allow any outside catering (grrr). Also we would be just at their capacity limit for guests and the room was a little darker than I would have liked.
(photos were not taken by me, they were shamelessly stolen. :)
Our friend Efra, who is the chef at the Fountain Café, will be catering in exchange for one of my father's paintings (yay barter system!)
My mother's ex-boyfriend (but still close friend), Billy, will marry us. He received his license last year and I would much rather have him, a close friend and wonderful man, marry us rather than some minister we've never met before.
Mercedes, the assistant chef at the Tyler St. Coffee House and friend, will make our wedding cake. She is only 19, but has blown everyone away with her incredible culinary skills. She's going to be making an ambitious wedding cake for her mother this May.
The band at the reception is a local jazz band and yes, also friends of ours, lead by the fabulous Pete Toyne. He's put out several jazz cds, performs in town frequently and I know he will be very easy and fun to work with. Later in the night my boss's boyfriend, Stig, will be DJing. I heard him DJ at the One World Fashion Show and he has considerable talent.
Nearly everything for the wedding will be provided by friends and family except for the flowers, which I will be getting from Holly's and the invitations which I'll probably order, but I might end up making those locally too. A bridal shop just opened up here in town amazingly enough, but I still haven't decided if I will buy my dress there. I intend to make a trip to Seattle soon to take a look around.
Thankfully we don't have to worry about a ring for me since I will be wearing Max's French grandmother's simple platinum band, which I am so honored to have had offered to me.
So far with all the bartering and friend rates this wedding has hardly added up to anything at all, at least in comparison to typical wedding costs. Which is great because I never wanted an expensive wedding for a multitude of reasons. I'm still having a lot of anxiety about the wedding and other stuff, but at least I have the full the support and help of my friends & family.
I actually have a lot more to write about, but this post is already getting long enough so I'll write another post in a few days about what else I've been up to. I will catch up with my email tomorrow.
What you are accomplishing with your wedding plans, is a return to the way that things properly should be, a communal celebration among friends of a happy event. It would be my choice as well if I were doing it now.
Do realize that something will go wrong. It does.
[Mine was a brief but strong, spring thunder/hail storm - talk about a quickie wedding ceremony.]
.... and, know what? when you get past whatever it will be, you'll end up laughing about it, as we do.
I'm not expecting everything to go perfectly. Even if something goes wrong with the preparations both of our families are easy going enough that everyone should be able to laugh about it. I never thought I would be planning a wedding at age 21, but I'm just thinking of it as it should be thought of -- a big party. I have a huge family so this will probably be the only time in my entire life that I'll have all my family and friends in one place. I'm starting to really look forward to it.
A thunder/hail storm sounds kinda fun, actually. :)
well hopefully those disappear. even if things don't go perfectly, i'm sure they will still be beautiful.
good luck with the ring. max told us what you were looking for; a. and i went looking in san francisco, and lemme tell ya, some of them were hideous...
I'm still not entirely sure what I want. I hate the possibility of supporting the diamond trade, but if I do end up with a diamond I hope to find one that I can be morally comfortable about. Even though buying a diamond, whether procured morally or not, is still supporting the trade to some degree. At one point I considered a nice platinum ring with jade, since I used to love jade (hence my old nickname "Jade"), but then I discovered the jade trade is nearly as bad as the diamond. *sigh* we'll see.
Max and I looked around the jewelry district in Birmingham for a ring last time I was in the UK. Everything was either hideously gaudy or boringly modern.
i'm completely in agreement with you concerning the diamond trade issue, and as a result, i've decided to forego the stone completely. mine will just be two platinum bands, one 2mm, one 5mm. i really like the way they look together.
the gaudy stuff was what i was referring to earlier, that i saw. unbelievable. i did try some diamonds on, just because i never had, and they were gorgeous, but it just didn't feel right [for me] and i couldn't see myself wearing any.
i hope you are able to figure out what you want.
It sounds amazing!
Gill and I are in the middle (well, no, very near the beginning) of planning our wedding, which we hope to have on the 1st February next year (hence 1/2/3 in UK date format - as easy as A/B/C, etc - my birthday this year was on 2/2/2, which was fun).
We're hoping to have it at the Earth Centre - they have this amazing conference centre which is built totally from reclaimed materials and uses alternative means of heating, cooling and lighting (the cooling is via these Teletubby-style metal tubes which protrude through the building's grass-covered roof, and end in big periscope-style tubes inside the building, with chain-pulls to open them or shut them off). Still a bit frustrated that we have to take their catering, and it looks like it could end up costing us a packet. Your setup sounds so much more fun and, well, the proper thing to do somehow.
Hope you have an amazing time! (I'm sure you will). When's the date?
For some reason I had in my mind that you and Gill were already married! Silly me. That's wonderful, congrats!
I remember thinking on 2/2/2 what a cool date it was. :)
I've just perused the Earth Centre website (nice site, usually I find sites built like that hard to navigate, but I didn't have trouble with this one) and looked at the interactive tour -- what an amazing place. I'd love to visit it sometime. I'm not sure if I found the exact building you have in mind, though. Definitely a unique place for a wedding, if there were anything like it around here I'd be into it.
The "no outside catering" thing at the Manresa Castle was a big disappointment. The whole menu was overpriced anyway, I'm much happier entrusting Efra to the job.
Yeah, well most people assume we are married because we may as well be... been together, erm, 9 years now I think, got 2 kids... we decided long ago that having kids together would be a far bigger commitment than getting married, so we sealed our vows that way :-)
I was always against marriage on principle... I'm an atheist, and don't really see it having any rightful place except as a religious ceremony. But... I mellow with age, and it just seemed nice to have a big party, and it would make some other things in life a bit easier, so we thought what they hell (actually, we've been thinking what the hell for about 5 years now, but we're not very organised)
Know what you mean about the Earth Centre site... although it is a bit cramped sometimes in that little window, it is quite easy to get around it, unlike a lot of heavily designed sites.
I'd love to be able to get somebody we know to do the catering - Gill knows of somebody who does Asian and Carribean stuff, and we were set on that, but... gotta get the place right too, and when we went to the earth centre it just seemed kinda cool.
It would be very different (and more expensive) if we were having the wedding in London or another big city. I think I'm fortunate to be living in a small community for this.
I have been very impressed with how much you've managed to accomplish in such a short time. And you have Chris there to help you and for input, that certainly counts for something. :)
I'm becoming very tempted to invite a lot more people to the reception and really turn it into a huge party, but I'll have to think on it.. not sure how out of control I'm willing to let it get. Then again I'll be bailing in the morning for the honeymoon anyway so at least I won't be stuck with the cleaning. :)
I'll probably end up taking a few photos myself, but I certainly don't consider myself wedding photographer material. ;) You just reminded me that I forgot to write about the photographers in my update.. I'll have to amend that in a min.
Mamie would have loved you to have it and my mum is really happy you've accepted too. I think it means a lot that the ring will be passed on and personally speaking I think of it as a good omen that mamie and papi were together for so long :)
when i was little my father used to take me to Chetzemoka park. its was my most favorite thing to do. i remember the little stream. he would put a penney down. we would walk away and come back and the penney would be gone. he would tell me that the little people who lived there had taken it. it was so magical. i could never figure it out. i wish you well with your wedding. i hope to have mine there someday. if you want a photographer i am happy to help you out. if your interested i could send you some of my work. i am just 17 but photography is my life.
What a sweet story about you & your father. Chetzemoka Park is so beautiful in the summer, I intend to spend a lot of time there this year before I move.
Thanks for your well wishes and the offer of your photographic skills. We've already hired a local photographer by the name of Josh Sage, but if he somehow falls through I will keep you in mind. Regardless I'd still like to see your work if you're interested in sharing. :)